You can talk all you want and he might listen and might even do what you want but his fading interest will eventually manifest itself in another way. I think you shouldn't aim to save the relationship. I think you should be more concerned with whether he's treating you the way you want to be treated or not. If you don't like what you are getting, step back and show him that you're not interested in what he is giving - it is not enough for you. If he really wants you, he will step up and put in more effort. If not, then you'll both go your separate ways.
You were emotionally manipulated by the other guy. It happens. It is basically like being raped. Just because you flirted, it was wrong of him to emotionally force you to give in. Men think they can manipulate women and then blame them for giving in. I would explain to your boyfriend exactly how this man manipulated you and have him help you to see an attorney to sue the other man for emotional distress for what he did.
So now you are saying that because he doesn't spend his every moment on facebook mindlessly messaging you or texting you, then that's a red flag?
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