I will say again...you want girl advice? You want to fix it? Or do you want validation that no girlfriend should manipulate you.
Nothing to lose
So could be anything.
And now my boyfriend has brought up living together. For love, for convenience and for getting to know each other better. We are both in our late twenties by the way, independent with fulltime jobs. I automatically said no because well, I don't want to live in sin. But then I started thinking about it objectively and I can't come up with many reasons why I'm opposed besides that one fact.
Actually, your view point is controlling in itself. Shaming view points for women that naturally are concerned or uncomfortable with their men knowingly putting himself in a sexual environment with other women is about control. It's not about trust or respect, it's about making women feel bad for their own natural desires while trying to self feed your own. It's obvious how controlling it is on a man's end that wants to shame a woman for naturally being upset when is man takes such action.
Concerning Item 3: It's not that I don't trust her... up until we had this discussion, she had told me that the thought of being with anyone else makes her sick, and while she does admit sometimes she's a little curious, she doubts she could ever do *anything* with anyone else but me... But it's one thing for her to say "no way, never" and I say "OK, I trust you" and I did... but it's another thing when she says "But you know, I'm afraid to enjoy our lovemaking to the fullest extent I can because I'm afraid of what I might do when you're not around - I don't trust myself..." This is the crux of the issue - it's hard for me to trust her when she doesn't even trust herself, you know what I mean?
Through our profession, we got to know each other, although looking back at it now, it should not have gotten as intimate as it did. I believed her when she came to me and told me that her husband had been beating on her, as I saw the bruises and marks that he used to leave on her. I do not know if she or he was the aggressor; I know that our chain of command had to get involved.
Second, you have info that you really shouldn't have, but now that you have it -- IMHO it sounds like he has not let go of his ex and is still interested in her. Don't expect your relationship with him to develop into anything serious as long as he is still that involved with her, emotionally or otherwise. Are you sure she's even an "ex?"
Since it's about to end anyways why don't you get some closure & ask him WTF?!?
No kidding! he just got away with it.
That's the difference.
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