Can I have your login details for everything, then?
You've done the right thing two times already. This time get it right. You've created a boundary by letting her know that this is acceptable to you. It's not about controlling her, it's about what YOU need to feel secure in the relationship. You've let her know this and she continues to do it. Enforce that boundary now. Don't let the same thing keep happening over and over again. I know the issue seems "small" in the scheme of things, but it is a dealbreaker for you. She's done it a number of times which means she doesn't care about how it makes you feel. You aren't being controlling with her, you are simply letting her know how you feel about it and letting her decide what's more important to her. Controlling would be "you stop doing that or . . . ". There is an "or" for you but you aren't imposing it on her. It's mental note to SELF to not continue tolerating it.
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